I am grateful that I managed to I had the opportunity to crawl out of the rigmarole of being busy without being productive.
Some things are subtle to some people. For me everything that was hard work was good. Not true always. The same translated into being busy. Over a period of time, it led me to keep busy in the mundane things and go on the procrastination mode on the important ones. This led to the focus being totally off, me getting a little cranky, productive work suffering, so much so that the self-esteem got affected. Now that was bad. This a situation that needs to be best avoided. This often starts when the mindfulness gets to very low levels. For me, the cause of mindfulness falling low was over exposure to the digital media – from iPhone to Android which has replaced my tab to the MacBook Pro to the windows desktop and then back to the iPhone. Whenever it got a little too much I switched o the TV. That was even worse, for there is absolutely no personal value in TV. This is a vicious circle which is all consuming, at least it was for me.
Then came a day of realization and a couple of holidays for me to contemplate and focus on where I was losing my happiness. Those two days I decided to be off the digital media except for the essential phone calls. It was a great exercise in mindfulness for me.
That did it for me, thankfully!
Leaving Home is just a regular routine. My profession demands it.
Leaving Home has never been an easy thing in spite of being smitten by a wanderlust. But when I know it is inevitable, I generally tend to reconcile and accept the way things are and look forward to what lies ahead. Everything else generally falls in place.
This time the things a bit different though. In fact a lot different. Am I getting old? Or is it merely wisdom dawning on me? I can’t say right now.
But, as I sit in the airplane trying to capture the sunset there are many things bumping around in my mind. These things are the questions which create a perception of uncertainty, a perception that will take time to go away this time.
Meanwhile, I must speed start working on what lies ahead. Time ahead will soon be time now. If I manage to come up with a good plan, I would be able to feel that gratitude. Gratitude for generating value not only for myself but also for those who hold me dear.
### My prayers seek that generosity from God today.
It had been months since I have had been depriving myself of the huge quantities of water that I drink. The reason was that my sipper had broken due to fair wear and tear over a long period of time. The habits one develops leads to the consequences- both good and bad. This time the consequences were that I went thirsty for long duration of time, often feeling thirsty before bed time which had not happened earlier.
With no time for good things like cycling or rather poor time management I had failed to even manage the thirst.
A little bit of pondering and applying the basic principles for good life have thankfully changed the things and I pray that it continues the same way.
Walking – I never felt that I was suited for such a mundane looking activity. It’s honest confession of a guy who feels that sweating out is all that ever matters and walking doesn’t fit the bill!
Walking – something that I always felt was old peoples’ cup to tea. Am’ I that old or is it that walking was never only old folks’ cup of tea to start thinking a little differently 🙂 Well, it actually feels nice to go walking with my wife. Apart from the pleasure of very light exercise I get to spend some prime time with the bitter half and doing that feels great.
Thanks Ma for that little nudging to push me out from my shell.
Change is the only permanent thing in one’s life.
To avoid the change is like limiting the imagination. Just like imagination, change cannot be contained in any form possible. Just like time cannot be stopped, change also cannot be stopped. Things change with time, often in such subtle ways that we do not realise.
Not that I have been averse to change buy the near ftailure to adapt to it seems devastating – almost as if the relevance of existence ceases to make any sense. That was what I had been going through – avoiding adapting to the changes all around to such a degree that the relevence seemed to have been lost in oblivion.
All this while there was no control of mine. I had not desired it, nor had I anticipated it. Never saw it coming. When it hit me I was knocked out of my senses. When you get knocked out, you realise that things happening all around cannot be controlled.
Good that it happened. It is a realisation that things are required to be worked upon to matter and have the desired effect. Hope the experience gives me the impetus to stand up and move on – the journey call still be made a beautiful one. Nothing that’s lost is lost forever.
Grateful in the right earnest.
It has been some time since I wrote anything on this blog.
In fact I haven’t written anything at all for quite some time now. The time was a break to see the way things are and the way they should be. Just like a painter takes a short break from painting to critically examine his work I wanted to be observing myself without expressing myself. Expressing myself may lead to masking my real self. It is true. Hence, the thought out break from posting anything on this blog. The outcome has not only been a shocking revelation but has given me enough pointers to enhance mindfulness.
These are some things that I have not been very careful with, in fact rarely anyone is absolutely careful with. I won’t include monks in this group! The retrospection has led me to believe that the good will emerge from mindfulness of monks. I call that the
‘Monk Mode’. The advantages of getting into the Monk Mode, which I perceive affect the way one moulds the character.
Moulding character – sounds funny, no?
Well, not really. Here is how.
If I am mindful about my thoughts I know what would be my actions. This of course is the most difficult part.
If I am thoughtful about my actions I would be generally aware of my actions being right bit wrong. Relatively easier, considering that thoughts are in a far bigger state of flux than actions.
If I am thoughtful about the right and wrong the outcome would not be as painful. This is the easiest part considering that it is the outcome of my actions.
All this happens continuously. It is the mindfulness that builds character.
All this while, when I had decided not to express myself, I made a deliberate attempt to confront myself, to confront my thoughts and to audit my actions. The actions have been the easiest to control while the thoughts were the most difficult. And, everything in between has had a varying degree of difficulty.
The end result – getting into the Monk Mode is a great thing to happen if I can achieve it.
Thankful for this outing with myself.
Thank my stars for the lovely mornings which are a result of me getting back to old habit of getting out of bed at four. By half past four I am off on my bike – an ideal time when there is little traffic on the roads and enough quiet to hear the chirping birds welcoming another day.
Cycling in the morning is becoming a meditation, a song and an adventure all rolled into one!